Broke Back Mountain

We went to a working ranch/farm/resort today called Circle Bar B Stables in Goleta. Just a few minutes off the highway and ocean, we drove through a winding dirt road, passing creeks, gorgeous trees, and countless avocado trees.

When we finally arrived to the main house, we were greeted with a funny little sign that said "Howdy Pardner" with lasso-like letters. It was right about then that I realized that I was about to be transported. And I was. The men who told us what was what wore cowboy hats, dusty boots with spurs, and chaps. Skinner, our guide, (ya like that name, huh?) was a slightly portly man who you knew enjoyed every pleasure the pseudo modern life of a cowboy had to offer. My hint was the extensive Las Vegas strip club innuendo he offered up when we told him where we were from. I think he'd admit that he's had a pretty fun life thus far. But anyway, Skinner sized us up in front of him and picked out a horse for each of us.

I got Hershey. Mmm, mmmm chocolate! That's what had gone through my head at the time, at least.

But oh. I think I may need to ride another few horses in my life to get a hang of "Go" and "Whoa" and "Turn" and "Turn". Oh, and kickin' with my heels. I'm telling you that darn Hershey didn't feel a darn thing when I kicked.

We left the main stables promptly. I was pretty nervous and was relieved that my horse seemed to know to go when the others went and they all seemed to stay in a straight line. The first moment that I knew she and I would have a funny little relationship was when everyone else forged the first stream, Hershey stopped and took a drink. Then as she crossed, she stopped a second and pooped right there. Then when Grammy's horse started to eat at a pause for Skinner to talk about a tree, Hershey ate right along with it! I honestly started to get the hang of it by the last twenty minutes.

And all the while, I also got to enjoy some one of a kind views. Completely different from Las Vegas--there was just green stuff everywhere. And then on top of that, there were ocean views just beyond the mountains where you could even see ships in the distance.

And Skinner had some good timing. Just when I was thinking, "Is this ride almost over?" he turned to us and thanked us for a good ride. Right on, right?

Obviously no same-gendered relations up in here, but my back does kinda hurt now! Not a bad experience at all. Thank you, Skinner.